S1-029 Glamazon Pride
Glamazon Pride is the twenty-ninth episode of Season One of Queens of Adventure. After a day of training, the Queens get to relax with an evening at a Glamazon Celebration. Synopsis Glamazons gather inside the Glamadrome arena, all around Booty and the Hofish and their new friend Irene Dubois. Other Glamazons in gold robes gather on stage and the show begins. The Performance Twelve paper dolls rise up from the stage, created from projections in the mist. They are tall, colorful figures in crowns and tiaras. A child in the audience gasps: "The Great Queens!" Smaller paper dolls raise up, and the great queens hand them tools. Together they build a village. Then, one of the small dolls shudders, and changes into a monster. More and more change as the corruption spreads. The other small figures back away and move to attack the queens. Some of the queens fall and vanish and a shadowy dragon rises. Only a handful of queens remain, raising weapons. The dragon breathes darkness. The great queens crumble and arise as dark monsters, until only three queens remain. The three strike the dragon and it bursts apart, leaving a golden box. They lift it up. Everything on the stage fades to mist, and is replaced by a ring of islands. A boat bearing the three surviving queens, the box, and colorful followers arrive. They build a settlement. A fleet of ships bearing people with weapons and hateful faces fire canons. The queens lift their arms and lift a wall around the city and beat back the attackers, with only a few escaping. A new city rises. Some of the followers wear white and gold robes and statues of the twelve queens ring the wall, hands clasped. More ships arrive and the queens blast them away. One of the queens lies down and vanishes. The city grows, and more followers wear white and gold instead of color. More ships, another blast, and a second queen disappears. The last remaining queen holding the golden box stoops. The citizens carry her and the box to the central island. A ziggurat rises around her. The town's inhabitants all wear white and gold by the time a fleet arrives to attack the ziggurat. All of the followers blast the fleet away together. Once gone, the followers all clasp hands just as in the real audience, all the Glamazons clasp hands. The arena goes dark. A single point of light glows and takes the form of the golden box. Obsidian blocks build the ziggurat around it. The performers stand around it, hands clasped. The lights dim in silence. As the lights rise, the Glamazons give a standing ovation. The performers exit, the clapping dies, and the Glamazons start to exit. The Festival Remoulade approaches their students, tells them to enjoy the festival but to get rest for tomorrow is combat training. The trainer reminds them to not partake of the marigolds and leaves. Exiting the Glamadrone (Fraya still naked) they find an enormous street festival. Over the sound of the people, they can hear songs, many that they recognize from their times at LaBouche Gardens, Wunderbred Manor, and the Ice Palace. They pass food stalls and a candy store with the coat of arms for House Effluvia. The crowd stares at them, but none more than Arson. Many are wearing drider costumes. One of them comes up to her, so excited to meet her. She gives them some of her webbing. The admirer says they are deeply into driders and asks about the Underdark and if Arson misses it. Arson says she misses it, but is happy to be here, and maybe someday she will go back. They reach a plaza with a fountain and many carnival games and a prize booth. First they go to the Follow the Ball booth where a man produces a golden ball and three gold goblets. As he plays 'Follow the Queen' with them, he spins the story of how the Great Queens hid their legendary treasure so no one could find it. Fraya's perception lets her see him hide the golden ball in his sleeve. He says the Great Queens would be proud, and he hands them a paper ticket for the prize booth. Irene is shocked to realize the ball was up his sleeve. The next booth is Hit the Taint. The booth is larger with a countryside diorama. A man in a white hood with a quiver of arrows greets them. He explains they need someone to save the village from the spreading Taint, as cardboard monsters pop up. Butylene steps up, and uses her blow dart gun to knock down all the monsters. The man says they had beanbags but congrats her before more monsters pop up, moving on tracks. She knocks them out again. A third wave of monsters swing down on wires, but these ones she misses. The monsters grab villagers, who become monsters. The attendant says too bad and gives Butylene two tickets they can cash in with Paradise at the Prize Booth. They pass a karaoke booth on their way around the plaza. Arson follows Indica Strain in performance. The list of songs are ones she recognizes. Coats of arms from different drag houses appears next to each song. Arson chooses "Let it Go". She earns three tickets, much to the chagrin of the next person in line, Adele Dazeem. Moving on, they find a race track with go carts. Irene takes the last spot. Children in monster costumes gather behind the carts to chase them. The other queens hear a familiar voice. Rigo approaches and asks if they are keeping out of trouble before showing that Ranger Richard is with him. The queens reference briefly meeting him. He glares at them. Rigo explains he recently got out of rebeautification. Richard and the queens begin a chilly interaction. He asks if they were out late last night and Arson and Butylene say they've just been training hard. Before Ranger Richard can say anything more, Arson jumps in, referencing astronomical bodies to intimidate him and call him out on his shadiness. Richard finds a leaf in Fraya's hair, saying it only grows in the lower purple quarter. She claims she is quite clumsy and fell into bushes, and even fell off a lighthouse once. Rigo tells Richard to stop beating around the bushes, as the queens continue to mock him. He tells Rigo there have been reports of illegal speakeasies and he heard three unrecognized figures were reported in the area last night. Arson points out that they are highly recognizable. Richard snarls. Rigo suggests he file a formal complaint tomorrow, even if Rigo does share the Ranger's concerns. Before leaving, Richard leans in. He says the city was built to prevent the trouble HOGs bring, and he knows they were at Meteor last night. They try to deny it, but he walks off. Meanwhile, Irene's race starts. As they race, monster covered hurdles appear in front of her and monster costumed children follow. Overcoming these challenges, Irene and one other racer reach the finish line at a tie. The other racers are now dubbed 'monsters'. Irene gets two tickets. There is one booth left as the group rejoins. They visit the 'Oracle' at the Trivia Booth. Butylene steps forward. She asks which house did not help found Glamalala. Butylene guesses Molestrangler, but the answer is Effluvia. The second question is what the founders were fleeing. Butylene correctly guesses spreading Taint. The third question is what does it means to be legendary. Butylene easily knows it is: "To rewrite the rules of the world through the power of re-creation." The Oracle is impressed and gives her two tickets. The Parade They hear a gong and everyone clears the street. A large parade comes through, lush green in color. On top, Glamazons construct a block version of the city. Around the bottom, actors in ancient drow armor climb out. The two groups join hands and dance. From the crowd, dancers in military garb shoot light, knocking over the blocks. More drow appear, and join the glamazons to push back the invaders. The music stops and a large drider puppet appears, representing Lolth, Queen of the demon pits. It shakes its legs and the drow's flash paper costumes burn away to reveal drider costumes. The driders mock attack Glamazon actors and parade watchers. The Glamazons shove them into a compartment on the float and close the door. One tall queen emerges, and seals the door with ribbons marked "DCM". Everyone bows their head for a moment before the float moves along. The Vigil In the wake of the float, festival goers march with candles up towards a platform at the top of the city wall. A glamazon child walks up to the four queens and hands them some candles and sheets of paper. The group follows the procession to the platform where there is a fountain. People write on their sheets of paper, fold them into paper boats, and set them in the water where they are carried away. Fraya casts light on the fountain, causing the masonry to glow around the people sitting on it. The Glamazons gasp at the beauty. Fraya makes a Cher noise. The kid tells the foursome that they are supposed to write their wishes for the year on the paper, something that will make the great queens proud. The kid says it might be true as last year they wished to meet a drider, and today they did. Irene writes 'two extra inches'. Fraya writes 'wyvern' and folds her paper into a swan. Arson writes 'reconnect with your roots'. Butylene writes 'peace and unity for Fire Island'. Glamazons nearby whisper that is a good one as Butylene hands her to a figure in a hood. She pulls it down and there is a glow behind her head, as she is a celestial. She is intrigued to meet a tiefling and asks what brought her here and if she has been adventuring long. Butylene answers vaguely. The celestial asks if she enjoys this life. Butylene admits honestly that she does, and she feels like she has grown socially. The woman says she is a cleric and asks what Butylene seeks. She isn't sure, but says she has found a sense of purpose she is uniquely suited for. Butylene jokes it is to blow things up, but also to blow up people's expectations for what someone like her can or should be. The woman says usually she can read someone's soul, but can't read Butylene's and asks what happened. Butylene lies, trying to use humor to protect herself. The cleric understands, but offers to talk if Butylene ever wants to and introduces herself as Sarah Phim. As the night winds down, the group hears last call for the Prize Booth. They head there with their ten tickets. Paradise, the ticket booth worker, explains the costs. Irene leaps in and claims they have twelve, worth a greater prize. The deception works. The group chooses a javelin of lightning. After a long day with little sleep after the previous night, they return to their lodgings and collapse into bed. They fall asleep to the sounds of the festival dying off. The last paper boat wishes drift off the waterfall. Below the gentle waves out to sea, a dark shape wraps around an underwater coliseum. From the rubble comes the sound of skittering legs and snapping claws. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric * Irene Dubois - lizardfolk barbarian NPCs * Puppet Show Performers * Remoulade * Drider Enthusiast (debut) * Carnival Event Barkers (debut) * Paradise, Prize Booth Attendant (debut) * Indica Strain (debut) * Adele Dezeem (debut) * Rigo * Ranger Richard * Trivia Oracle (debut) * Child at the Vigil (debut) * Sarah Phim (debut) * Undersea creature (debut) Episode Notes Lore * According to the performance: Once there were Twelve Great Houses founded by Legendary Queens. When the spreading taint began to turn people into monsters, many of the houses fell until only three were left who defeated the Taint. Left behind was a treasure they took with them to Fire Island and protected against outside attackers who sought the treasure. Slowly the Great Queens died off and their followers forewent their more colorful ways until the last, Queen Celia Molestrangler, died and was buried with the treasure. After her death, the Glamazon followers fought off one last invasion attempt together. Memorable Quotes * "I've been playing that game every year at this festival since I got here, which is when I was born, and I never knew he was keeping it up is sleeve. That is so fucked up." - Irene Dubois * "Usually I need a refractory period before I can shoot the taint twice." - Butylene O'Kipple * "If it's Fraya we may have to use deception." - Butylene O'Kipple * "Are you one of those lizards that can run on water?" - "Oh and the toes are fully webbed honey." - Fraya Love and Irene Dubois * "Why? Do you have drugs? Cause if you do..." - "I'd much rather you do them here. Cause I'm a cool mom. Not a regular mom." - Butylene O'Kipple and Fraya Young * "Rigo is smiling at Butylene. Wait no, he's wearing a mask." - DM Matt * "Delusion, convince yourself." - Arson Nicki * "As you can tell, I don't speak easily." - Fraya Love * "We have many complimentary towels. Please avail yourselves." - Rigo * "Off the record, I didn't pay attention in school." - Irene Dubois * "I think I see a metaphor." - "WHERE?" - Sarah Fim and Butylene O'Kipple References * Hobbits * The Gay Deceivers - marigolds and peonies * Jujubee's Leg-and-Dairy Read * Willhelm Scream * Cabbage Guy - Avatar: The Last Airbender * Cross-Fit * Serial Mom - Beverly Sutphin * John Travolta saying Adele Dezeem instead of Idina Menzel * Mean Girls - Cool Mom * Mario Kart * Neighbors Nightclub * Mona Real * Harry Potter - Platform 9 3/4 * Vintage Clairol commercial - Only her hairdresser knows for sure Please Welcome to the Stage * Indica Strain Name That Tune * "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler * "Two Tickets to Paradise" - Eddie Money * "Tonight is What It Means to Be Young" ** * "I Put a Spell On You" ** * "Heads Will Roll" ** * "Let It Go" - Frozen ** * "Real Emotion" ** * "Cut to the Feeling" ** * "The Mother We Share" ** * "Get This Party Started" ** * "Dance Apocalyptic" ** * "Jolene" - Dolly Parton Behind the Queens *Arson Nicki narrates the intro of the episode. *(**) During the karaoke challenge, a list of songs are read out. These include songs sung at the start and end of the several Seattle live shows (Season zero, episodes three, and five) and the San Francisco cast's first three shows. *Fraya references the time where, in some other universe, she fell around some snakes. This was possibly in the Pride special episode, Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom, although that may have been recorded after this episode was recorded. Category:Episodes Category:Season One